Two Cows

Two cows were standing in a field.
One said
"Moo",

the other said
"I was just gonna say that"!

The Pig with one Leg

A travelling salesman came upon an old farmer sitting on his porch, next to the farmer was a pig with only one leg. The salesman was about to give his sales pitch when his curriosity got the best of him.

"Excuse me sir, but why does your pig only have one leg?"
asked the salesman.

" Well sonny, I'll tell ya" Said the farmer
"One day I was out plowing the back 40 when my tractor overturned, pinning me underneath", "I was losing blood and thought I would die when that pig came running", "He dug and rooted around with his nose till he got me out and he dragged me back to the house". Saved my life that pig did".

"Wow, that's realy amazing"
said the salesman,
"but I still don't know why the pig only has one leg".

"Well I'll tell ya",
said the farmer.
"One night me and the wife were asleep at about 3am when a fire broke out in the kitchen". "Well that pig broke down the door, came into our bedroom waking us up and getting us out before the fire could get us", "saved our lives that pig did!"

"Well that realy great but why does the pig only have one leg?"

"Well sonny, when you get a pig that smart, you don't want to eat him all at once!"

Confused Turtle

A little turtle begins to climb a tree slowly. After long hours of effort, he reaches the top, jumps into the air waving his front legs, until he crashes heavily into the ground with a hard knock on his shell. After recovering his consciousness, he starts to climb the tree again, jumps again, and knocks the ground heavily again. The little turtle persisted again and again while a couple of birds sitting at the edge of a branch, watched the turtle with pain. Suddenly the female bird says to the male, "Hey dear, I think it's time to tell our little turtle he is adopted."

Two Brothers and a Horse

A man bought a horse off his brother but had to ask his brother how to make the horse start walking.
His brother said
"you have to say Thankgoodness and to stop it you have to say Tummyache".

The man set off down the road on the horse and suddenly realized the horse was bringing him to the edge of a cliff.
"Oh Oh what's the word to make it stop"
the man said,

Just as the horse came to the edge of the cliff the man said "Tummy ache" and the horse stopped.

"Thankgoodness"
said the relieved man and the horse went straight over the edge of the cliff.

From Allan Warburton.

Two ants playing football in a saucer.

One turns to the other and says
'I hope you play better tomorrow'

'Why ?' replies the second

'Cos tomorrow we're playing in the cup !'