You Are An Internet Addict When

1. You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved and you don't have a clue as to when it happened.

2. You start introducing yourself as "Jim at net dot com"

3. Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you see a new WWW site address on TV.

4. Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.

5. Your dog has its own web page.

6. You can't call your mother... She doesn't have a modem.

7. Your husband tells you that he has had the beard for 2 months.

8. You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.

9. Your wife makes a new rule: "The computer cannot come to bed."

10. Your wife says communication is important in a marriage... so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat.

Follow this guide if you want to confuse,
scare or just generally annoy anyone
unlucky enough to be in the same
computer room as you!

Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream "Oh my God! They've found me!".

Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.

When your computer is turned off, complain to the teacher that you can't get the damn thing to work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5 minutes,turn it off again, & repeat the process for a good half hour.

Write a program that plays the Batman TV show theme song and play it at the highest volume possible over & over again.

Ask the person next to you if they know how to tap into top-secret Government files.

Put a straw in your mouth and put your hands in your pockets. Type by hitting the keys with the straw.

Try to stick a Nintendo cartridge into the 3 1/2 disk drive. When it doesn't work, get the teacher.

Laugh hysterically, shout "You will all perish in flames!!!" and continue working.

Bring some dry ice & make it look like your computer is smoking.

Keep looking at invisible bugs and trying to swat them.

Run into the computer lab, shout "Armageddon is here!!!!!", then calmly sit down and begin to type.